Working Mother, Myth or reality?

Is there any thing called as working mother that exist? You can either be working or be a mother. Being two things at the same time while trying to balance both does not seem to work.
Balancing means compromising on both. Neither you are able to justify your work nor you are able to take care of your family properly .
These days organizations demand more and more work out of you, there is a rising competition, need to be innovative and come up with new ideas. Most of the jobs demand you to be on your toes all the time. Full day work in office and then calls with the US counterparts till late evenings. Where is the time left for family? This the dilemma that i am facing and i am sure most new mothers in my shoes are.

The kind of enthusiasm that i had earlier to take up more and more responsibilities, work extra and late night to finish the job, try to be on the top, be an achiever, aggressive are all the things of the past. Now it is just to survive with whatever job i have so that at least i keep earning and there is no hit to the financial independence. After all i have been working for several years and now suddenly if i stop there will be a void in the life. Somewhere I will loose my identity. I will say job is kind of addiction i want to keep. 

Family on the other hand is suffering also. My daughter who is one and a half years old needs my time and attention, visits to the park, playtime, etc. There is hardly any time to check how my husband's day has gone at office. There is laundry that needs to be done and waiting for more than a week. Oh! that corner of the room is dirty. Where is the time to clean it? Although there is a maid and cook but they come with their own challenges. Whatever the cook prepares you have to eat, there is not much choice. Maid has their own tantrums that needs to be dealt with on daily basis. Not cleaning properly, not coming on time, taking too many sudden leaves without informing. With so much going in the background there is never a surety of reaching office on time. Every new day has become like an unknown where no two days are alike and are completely unpredictable. Sometimes I feel I fire all the home staff and do all myself but then there is no time and honestly no energy left. 

There is also a desperate need to give time to myself, do some exercise, watch tv sometimes, go for long walks, catch up with friends over coffee. With so much exhaustion and sleepless nights from last one and half year all this has taken a back seat. Weekends are already occupied with a long waiting list of to dos.

Companies on the other hand are turning more into women oriented and wants to bring more and more women to workforce. They are offering flexibility and other options to bring them back after their maternity leaves. But what next? Women have to compete with their men counterpart. They have to outperform if they want to sustain in their job. It is very different being a family man and a family women. Yes! Yes there is a difference, I still feel it is man's world. I know now it is changing, all believe women are at par. Yes they are, but then it comes with added responsibility and lots of extra effort and struggle. Struggle to maintain your job and to keep working with the same efficiency with what you have been before you were a mother. And then there is competition with your male counterparts. They are also family man but then as I said there is a difference. The family working man can be in office till 9 pm and go home eat dinner which has been already ready and sleep. The working family man can take calls in the nights without thinking of serving dinner to others in the family. Is that the same with the working mother?

If women give priority to family have to leave the job and stay at home. Companies  are giving flexibility up to a certain extent but is that really helping women? Have they ever conducted the survey how many have it helped. What is the kind of flexibility is actually required. The policies that work in US may not work in India.
Even at home the expectations with the working lady or mother remains the same as with the homemaker. Women are still struggling and will keep doing it. There is a requirement of change, a paradigm shift in the thought process.

After all this struggle i derive energy from my daughter everyday to come out and work, to manage my home, manage myself and keep my sanity. I know this is the short term struggle that we all have to go through. May be we cannot change the way it has been coded, may be fighting with such circumstances is also not a good idea. Right now the best solution is to give-in and surrender to it and flow with the flow. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Just have to wait and see how long the tunnel is.