The Little Light of my Life

This little light of mine

The light within me once brightly shone

It came from within, deep in the soul

I realized strong faith brings one close

To find your way and reach your goal

I say Faith; it is the most important thing that keeps me going full day, every day.  Faith brings in lot of other things along with it – happiness, positive attitude, success, satisfaction, better performance. It does not matter if I am a homemaker or working professional I need Faith and belief in myself. Just sustaining or surviving is not the goal here. The goal is to live happy and satisfied.

I was a full time professional and very ambitious and career oriented. After my daughter was born I went back to work. Companies talk about all kind of flexibility and diversity to encourage women to come and work, but at the execution stage things fall apart. I chose my little girl over my career.

When I started working, I had faith in myself that I will work as hard as possible and be a successful professional. When I quit my career I had the same faith that I will not fail. I will excel in what I do. I will do it with full dedication and hard work.

t has been 4 months now and I feel it was the best decision I ever took. This small but bright light called faith knows somewhere that this is just the beginning of a great future ahead.


"This post is an entry for the contest 'The Little Light of my Life' on www.WorldOfMoms.com for a jackpot prize."

The Last Day

As I drove back that day I was filled with mixed feelings, of enthusiasm and depression both. In the background Jagjit Singh ghazal played - Hazaron khwaishen Aisi ki har khwaish par dum nikale, giving me an intense ambience to think if I have taken a correct decision. I was not certain. Several images ran in the background of my subconscious mind and played like a movie flashback. Last 13 years I have spent working and taking my career from zero to a certain level has come to a pause. All the accolades I received, everything I learnt, and my achievements will become a memory now.  Then suddenly my daughter smiling face came in the flashback and everything else took a back seat. At this point I thought nothing else matters except my daughter and giving time to her.

The work used to be hectic with meetings running till late evenings and thus not leaving me with any time and energy. Initially I thought it was a passing by phase in the organization and will improve in some time when additional resources are hired, team size is increased but it never improved and things remained the same. In fact it kept getting worse and I kept getting involved neglecting the personal life. 

Suddenly one day I realized what am I doing with myself. I was in extreme stress; I was not giving time to my family and my health is jeopardized. Since I wanted to stick to some kind of work life and keep my career alive, i first checked the option of flexibility with my organization, half day work or some sort of arrangement. Unfortunately, it was not available.

I kept thinking for few days and then started working with the existing finances to analyze if we will survive with single salary. I knew things will be tight; we will have to forego lot of things but at least I will gain peace of my mind. 

Now as I drive back from office to home after submitting all the organization assets back, I feel 10 kgs lighter and 10 years younger. Suddenly I feel fresh as I used to feel when I was in college. I came back home filled with energy and positivity to my daughter, I played with her the entire evening and her giggle made me think did I really leave something behind or gained much more than expected? I had a feeling of satisfaction and I slept like a baby that night.

Baby/Toddler Eating Schedule

I am writing this post to encourage all the mothers to share their babies/toddler's eating schedule.

This will help the mom community to see what others are doing for their kids and what kind of food they are serving. 

I tried to do search on some food plan for my daughter as I was confused what to give her and at what time. I could not find anything great on internet.

After several trial and errors I stick to this plan. I am sharing my plan; please share your plan as well along with the age of your baby.

Eating Schedule for 18 months old Toddler:

Time	Food
7:30 am	Some dry fruits, grind form
8:00 am	Egg + milk
9:30 – 10:00 am	Paratha (stuff or plain)/ cornflakes
12:30 – 1:00 pm	Lunch (Daal, Sabzi and Roti), I serve her whatever is cooked
3:00 pm	A Fruit/cucumber + any snacks(biscuits/cheela/Cornflakes/Aloo tikki/rava halwa/cheese slice)
5:00 pm	Milk + any snacks(biscuits/cheela/Cornflakes/Aloo tikki/rava halwa/cheese slice)
7:00 pm	Dinner (chicken/Daal + roti + sabzi), whatever is cooked for dinner

My daughter is still breastfeeding, I breast feed her once in evening and twice in the night. On Weekends, I breastfeed her on demand.

The above is the plan I try to serve to her. She may or may not eat it. Also at any point of time I keep an alternate ready. My daughter does not like repetition in her food. Whatever is served at lunch cannot be served at dinner. So I always keep some chicken in my fridge. This is a sure shot thing and she likes eating the chicken fry which is quick to make as well.

Although I have mentioned milk twice in my plan, she has not started liking it yet. She hardly drinks few sips and then rejects it. I do not force feed her. I let her eat at her own will and try few times before I give up.

My daughter goes to the day school so she gets to eat a variety of things at the school also. Sometimes they serve soup, pav bhaji, vada pav, etc for snacks. This gives her tongue a different taste.

I have started introducing some chilly to her. I put slight chilly in her food.

I am always in the lookout for new recipes or finger food that I can cook for her. I usually do that on weekends.

So far this plan seems to have worked for my daughter.

Do let me know what works for you.

Working Mother, Myth or reality?

Is there any thing called as working mother that exist? You can either be working or be a mother. Being two things at the same time while trying to balance both does not seem to work.
Balancing means compromising on both. Neither you are able to justify your work nor you are able to take care of your family properly .
These days organizations demand more and more work out of you, there is a rising competition, need to be innovative and come up with new ideas. Most of the jobs demand you to be on your toes all the time. Full day work in office and then calls with the US counterparts till late evenings. Where is the time left for family? This the dilemma that i am facing and i am sure most new mothers in my shoes are.

The kind of enthusiasm that i had earlier to take up more and more responsibilities, work extra and late night to finish the job, try to be on the top, be an achiever, aggressive are all the things of the past. Now it is just to survive with whatever job i have so that at least i keep earning and there is no hit to the financial independence. After all i have been working for several years and now suddenly if i stop there will be a void in the life. Somewhere I will loose my identity. I will say job is kind of addiction i want to keep. 

Family on the other hand is suffering also. My daughter who is one and a half years old needs my time and attention, visits to the park, playtime, etc. There is hardly any time to check how my husband's day has gone at office. There is laundry that needs to be done and waiting for more than a week. Oh! that corner of the room is dirty. Where is the time to clean it? Although there is a maid and cook but they come with their own challenges. Whatever the cook prepares you have to eat, there is not much choice. Maid has their own tantrums that needs to be dealt with on daily basis. Not cleaning properly, not coming on time, taking too many sudden leaves without informing. With so much going in the background there is never a surety of reaching office on time. Every new day has become like an unknown where no two days are alike and are completely unpredictable. Sometimes I feel I fire all the home staff and do all myself but then there is no time and honestly no energy left. 

There is also a desperate need to give time to myself, do some exercise, watch tv sometimes, go for long walks, catch up with friends over coffee. With so much exhaustion and sleepless nights from last one and half year all this has taken a back seat. Weekends are already occupied with a long waiting list of to dos.

Companies on the other hand are turning more into women oriented and wants to bring more and more women to workforce. They are offering flexibility and other options to bring them back after their maternity leaves. But what next? Women have to compete with their men counterpart. They have to outperform if they want to sustain in their job. It is very different being a family man and a family women. Yes! Yes there is a difference, I still feel it is man's world. I know now it is changing, all believe women are at par. Yes they are, but then it comes with added responsibility and lots of extra effort and struggle. Struggle to maintain your job and to keep working with the same efficiency with what you have been before you were a mother. And then there is competition with your male counterparts. They are also family man but then as I said there is a difference. The family working man can be in office till 9 pm and go home eat dinner which has been already ready and sleep. The working family man can take calls in the nights without thinking of serving dinner to others in the family. Is that the same with the working mother?

If women give priority to family have to leave the job and stay at home. Companies  are giving flexibility up to a certain extent but is that really helping women? Have they ever conducted the survey how many have it helped. What is the kind of flexibility is actually required. The policies that work in US may not work in India.
Even at home the expectations with the working lady or mother remains the same as with the homemaker. Women are still struggling and will keep doing it. There is a requirement of change, a paradigm shift in the thought process.

After all this struggle i derive energy from my daughter everyday to come out and work, to manage my home, manage myself and keep my sanity. I know this is the short term struggle that we all have to go through. May be we cannot change the way it has been coded, may be fighting with such circumstances is also not a good idea. Right now the best solution is to give-in and surrender to it and flow with the flow. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Just have to wait and see how long the tunnel is.